There aren’t any single good men left living in New York City. In fact, that’s what everyone tells us. When Deanna* moved into the city late 2021 She was the next to test if any truth to the statement. Single after her long-time boyfriend separated from her via Snapchat, Deanna joined Hinge and Tinder. It was during this time that a private Facebook page known as Do You Dating the Same Guy NYC came up as a suggested follow. The group offered a thorough prescreening survey as well as community guidelines that served as a barrier for entry. The group was with 43,000 members. Deanna was intrigued, so she joined.
The community
The community-which began with the purpose of helping women discover if their potential partners were dating others-was established in the month of March 2022. The majority of major US city currently has a similar forum and the rules are clear: Anyone can be anonymous, not doxxing or sharing sensitive information and under no circumstances can screenshots be deleted from the group. No harassment, no blame-shifting and no hate speech. Do not tell someone that you’ve been posted to the group. Following the scandal the scandal of West Elm Caleb, a man who many women in New York shared negative dating experiences and connected the dots on the internet, it appeared that a lot of women were looking for a method to search out the other guys who shared similar experiences.Read here datingfortodaysman At our site As one TikTok user mused at the time This is why we need an app where we can leave reviews of guys we’ve dated on Hinge.
That’s the way this group was when Deanna joined. Each version of Are We Dating the Same Guy serves as a gathering location for women who are seeking advice on their relationship or make a statement about the men with who they’ve had bad experiences. Loyalty-testing long-term boyfriends-that is an act of sending out other ladies to be enticed by them on social media is also a trend. It’s easy to go down a rabbit into a puddle of screenshots Hinge profiles, tales of hookups gone wrong, and memes about the woes of modern-day dating. A lot of the most popular posts contain photos of a man under his first name, asking who has matched or been in contact with the person concerned. Red-flag emojis are an often image on infrequent but alarming posts advising the group of an ex-partner or a bad experience, often accompanied with the downward arrow as well as the frightening phrases See comments for more info.
The popularity of online dating has been a major factor in our options in recent years compatible to a study revealing that almost 39 percent of heterosexual couples met their loved ones online. Therefore, it is only natural that the romance element that involves social interaction would change to the digital age. Instead of chatting with small groups of acquaintances at a bar or discussing issues with colleagues, we are seeking the counsel of 43,000 women with similar – and sometimes very similar-experiences.
It’s demystified this idea that dating is easier for some women than it is for others, says Ellie,* another group member. Not to suggest there’s no rights that are available but it was beneficial for me to reconsider my notion of dating. There’s no competition between women but it is holding men to a much higher standard than before.
It’s not lost on me how some of the behaviour that’s promoted and facilitated by Are We the Dating the Same Guy would be concerning if displayed by prospective suitors. Photos, details of private discussions, and screenshots posted without the permission of the other person or knowledge are common. People search social media profiles on an almost daily basis. And it’s not that difficult in order for a prospective date to be taken off the table. While Deanna enjoys being part group, she has some reservations. Sometimes you see people posting ‚If he wanted to, he would‘ about paying for things or picking you up in an Uber, she declares. But I’m guessing that you’ll are faced with the issue of you can end up with this echo chamber of ‚Men have got us in trouble for a long time, we’re going to give it back.
We are still living in a patriarchal society
The world is still an oppressive society. Until we’re truly equal in our online interactions, they will be different in their impact based on the person’s history. Even so, can a group like this really be empowered in a positive way on one side of the coin and deplorable atrocity in the name of God on the other? Are We Dating the Same Guy? It’s hyperlocal and is only useful for those who live and date in the town the group is based in. The women, as well as the men they write about could be your neighbor as well as a coworker, friend family member, or most the most recent Hinge match. And yet, there’s a loss of personalization that comes with operating on the internet, making it seem like an online game. It’s not far-fetched to suggest that this is an insult to the individuals in both groups. Particularly when the details of private conversations, personal interactions or even photos were shared without knowing or consent, usually for pure entertainment.